June 25, 2020
Written by Dominique Astorino | Svn Space
Examining Expectations
A major challenge many of us are facing in 2020 is the disparity between what we expected from the year, and how it’s actually going. In other words, expectation versus reality — extreme edition.
“Our expectations generate ideas that we must do or should do something,” said Nina. “What that does in turn is create a sense of anxiety for us; you’re setting yourself up for failure.” She noted that this is especially true if we’re particularly rigid with our expectations.
Nina joked that as an A-type, super organized, plan-everything kind of personality, she — at one point — had a particularly difficult time adjusting when things didn’t go according to plan and didn’t follow the expected path. But (perhaps thanks to an extensive psychological education) she has learned to adapt. She recommends leaving the ‘shoulda-coulda’ and aughts behind, and adjusting your expectations for yourself and people around you (and not being overly rigid with plans).
Another reminder from Nina: “We’re harder on ourselves than the people we love.” So on that note, she encourages you to “give yourself grace and compassion.”
Do you have an expectation that you can fix things? Fix or control your situation, or the world around you? Take a step back and assess. “Assess what’s actually going on so that we can make the responsible or rational decisions or choices to move forward in a healthy and more realistic way,” she said. “I think that it’s hard when there’s so much going on and we don’t necessarily have control over it and we don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
“Take inventory: What’s happening, what has your role been in it, how much control have you had over it? The answer you get, more likely than not, is that a lot of this is beyond our control.” — Read more
