Twin Mom Survival Guide: My tips for twin moms & my favorite products for twins
by Nina Westbrook
Here’s the deal - every expectant twin mom and any mom out there raising twin toddlers could surely use a survival guide! Being both a licensed marriage and family therapist and a twin mom, I recently thought I’d share some of the things I wish I had known sooner, and things I’ve learned along the way!
Whether you’re expecting twin bundles of joy in the near future or you’re a mom in the middle of raising two toddlers, I’m excited to share a few of my tips for encouraging happy, healthy mamas and babies, plus a few of the products that this twin mama swears by!
When you find out you’re expecting twins, it’s totally normal for are a ton of questions and emotions to arise. How am I going to be able to afford this? What if they don’t get along? How am I going to manage all of the needs of a newborn times TWO?! Everyone’s approach is different but I'm going to share some tips that I hope make your life a little easier and I’m even going to share a few of the mistakes I made in hopes that you can avoid doing the same!
MY TWIN MAMA GUIDE
Take a deep breath and remember you aren’t alone. There are tons of other twin moms roaming the world who are ready and willing to support you through this journey.
Prepare to master the schedule! I believe structure is crucial but, when you’re outnumbered, maintaining a schedule is one of the few ways you’ll be able to carve out time for YOU and those moments of self-care are now more important than ever.
Encourage individuality and independence. Your twins shared your womb for months and will have a twin bond even if that bond looks different than what you pictured in your head. Promoting independence will help your twins individually develop self-confidence, which is a huge benefit when trying to raise healthy and happy children.
Accept help! It’s one thing to acknowledge you need help and another to accept support or reach out and ask for it in the first place. Welcome extra sets of arms who are excited to cradle your babies, accept meals from loved ones, and let your partner care for the babies while you get an extra nap in.
NOT SO MUCH
Buy one when you can buy two. Unless you’re buying two identical toys, save your money because the likelihood is high that your twins are going to want to play with the exact same toy that the other is currently holding.
Compare your twins. I know it’s hard, but seriously try to avoid this. They may share the same DNA but you will quickly learn that they’re still two entirely different people. Comparing milestones to milestones can leave mom feeling anxious and can also lead to the development of unhealthy sibling rivalry as your children grow.
Try to do it all on your own. Whether you develop a strong plan for sharing duties with your partner, call on family members for help, or hire support in the form a nanny or au pair, don’t convince yourself that you need to do this alone.
Rush yourself. Face it, things are going to take much longer than usual from here on out, and that’s okay. Don’t rush. Rushing creates unnecessary pressure and anxiety, and can also lead to forgetfulness or even accidents. When you’re caring for twin babies, slow and steady wins the race. The world can wait - you’ve got precious cargo on board!
To my fellow twin moms out there, I’d love to hear from you! In the comment section below, please share some of your best tips and advice on how to manage taking care of two newborns and yourself, simultaneously.