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Relationships WELLNESS

How Can I Reconnect Emotionally With My Spouse?

BE WELL

Relationships are always changing. As much as we want our relationships to be perfect and free from conflict, that’s not generally a realistic goal. Sometimes, you may feel distant from your partner, whether they’re a romantic partner or a close friend. This can happen for many reasons, and often, it’s not even about you. If you’re feeling disconnected in your relationship, here are some easy tips to help you reconnect.

Couple enjoying a movie together

Tips to Reconnect Emotionally

1. Make Physical Contact

Physical touch is a powerful way to enhance emotional connection. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or cuddling can release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and feelings of well-being. Try to incorporate more physical touch into your daily routine. For example, you might hold your partner’s hand while walking together, give them a warm hug when they come home, or sit close together while watching TV. These small acts of physical affection can help strengthen your bond and make you feel closer to each other. Physical intimacy can also include more subtle forms of touch, like a gentle back rub or a comforting pat on the shoulder.

2. Give Compliments

Complimenting your partner is a great way to show appreciation and remind them of their value. Acknowledge the positive qualities they bring into your life and express your gratitude. For instance, you might say, “I really appreciate how thoughtful you are,” or “You always know how to make me laugh.” Compliments can boost your partner’s self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of your relationship. This practice helps build a culture of appreciation and mutual respect. Be sincere and specific with your compliments, focusing on genuine attributes and actions that you value.

3. Share Your Needs

If you’re feeling disconnected, it might be because your partner isn’t aware of what you need or something is frustrating you. It’s important to express your feelings and needs clearly and calmly. For instance, you might say, “I feel like we’re not as close lately, and I really miss our conversations. It would mean a lot to me if we could talk more about our days.” This helps your partner understand what you’re experiencing without feeling attacked or defensive. Being specific about your needs and giving concrete examples can make it easier for your partner to understand and respond positively.

4. Be Patient

Remember that connection ebbs and flows in any relationship. It’s normal to go through periods where you feel more or less connected. Be patient with yourself and your partner during these times. Recognize that relationships require ongoing effort and commitment. When things are going well, savor those moments and use them as a foundation to build on. When you’re feeling distant, remind yourself that this is a temporary phase and that with effort, you can reconnect. Understand that both partners might need time to adjust and find their way back to each other.

Young couple practicing yoga together

5. Do Something Together

Shared activities can help bridge the gap when you feel distant. Think about activities that both of you enjoy and can do together. Whether it’s playing your favorite board game, yoga sessions, cooking a meal together, taking a walk in the park, or starting a new hobby as a team, these moments create opportunities for positive interactions. These shared experiences help both of you focus on the present moment and rediscover the joy of being together. It’s a great way to remind each other of the fun and connection that brought you together in the first place. Even small activities, like reading a book together or doing a puzzle, can provide the bonding time you need.

6. Show Empathy

Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another person. If your partner feels disconnected, try to understand their perspective. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s been on your mind lately?” or “Is there anything that’s been bothering you?” Listening without judgment and showing that you care about their feelings can make a big difference. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is there to listen can provide comfort and help re-establish a sense of connection. Make sure to validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them, by saying things like, “I can see that this is really affecting you.”

7. Take Time for Yourself

Taking time for yourself might seem counterintuitive, but it’s essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. Reconnecting with yourself helps you understand your own needs and emotions. Spend some time doing activities that you enjoy and that make you feel fulfilled. This self-awareness can make you a better partner, as you’ll be more attuned to your own needs and better able to support your partner. Taking care of yourself ensures that you have the energy and emotional capacity to invest in your relationship. Activities like journaling, meditating, or pursuing a hobby can help you recharge and gain perspective.

8. Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, reconnecting with your partner might feel challenging. In such cases, consulting a licensed marriage and family therapist can be very beneficial. A therapist can provide a neutral perspective and offer strategies and tools to improve your relationship. Therapy can help both partners understand underlying issues, improve communication, and find effective ways to reconnect. Seeking professional help is a proactive step that shows your commitment to strengthening your relationship.

Happy couple enjoying outdoor activities

Reconnecting in a relationship takes effort from both partners. It’s about understanding each other’s needs, spending quality time together, and showing appreciation. Be patient with the process, as all relationships have their ups and downs. By following these tips, you can strengthen your bond and build a deeper connection with your partner. Remember, the key to a strong relationship is continuous effort, open communication, and mutual respect. Cherish the moments of closeness and work through the times of distance with empathy and dedication.

A Few Reminders

Here are a few commonly asked questions that come up when partners are struggling to connect.

  1. What if my partner doesn’t respond to my needs?

It’s important to approach the situation with patience and understanding. If your partner doesn’t respond immediately, give them time to process. If the issue persists, consider seeking the help of a counselor or therapist to facilitate better communication.

  1. How often should we engage in shared activities?

There’s no set frequency for shared activities. Find a balance that works for both of you. Even small, regular activities can make a big difference in maintaining a connection.

  1. What if we have different interests?

It’s normal for partners to have different interests. Try to find common ground with activities that both of you enjoy. Additionally, support each other’s individual hobbies and take an interest in them, even if it’s just by asking questions or showing enthusiasm.

  1. How can I practice empathy if I’m also stressed?

Practicing empathy requires self-awareness. Make sure to manage your own stress through self-care. This will help you be more present and empathetic with your partner.

  1. What if physical contact is difficult for us?

Physical contact can be challenging for various reasons. Start with small gestures like holding hands or a gentle touch on the arm. Gradually build up to more if both of you are comfortable. Communication is key in understanding each other’s comfort levels with physical touch.

  1. When should we consider seeking professional help?

If you find that your efforts to reconnect aren’t working, or if there are deeper issues that you can’t resolve on your own, it might be time to seek professional help. A licensed therapist can provide valuable guidance and support to help you navigate through tough times and strengthen your relationship.

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